maRSHal lEe and caKe
by Usagi Uchiha
Summary: When the cast of Adventure Time gets plotted in the first Shrek movie, you know it's going to be awesome! Rated Teen because I don't know what direction it is going. Pairings: Mainly FioLee and CakeMonochromicorn. Please R&R.


_**Author's note (prelude): Hello everyone! Some may know me by my previous fanfiction stories, others might not know me. That's just fine. My name is Usagi Uchiha. I usually just go by Uchiha for short. I mainly right crossovers but lately, I've stumbled blindly into the 'Adventure Time' fandom. The first episode that I watched (online because I don't have the Cartoon Network channel anymore) was the gender bent episode. I immediately fell in love with the episode. I was however, shocked to find that Marshal Lee had no lines what so ever, so writing about him was hard because there wasn't a personality in his character. Cake isn't that easy either but it was extra hard writing about Marshal. Currently, I have purchased the first 'AT' DVD at Wal-Mart for ten dollars. Best ten bucks I have spent in a long time. I didn't realize how funny the show was! I was sad that it only contained about 12 episodes. Oh, well. I'll just wait until the next DVD come out. That's all I have to saw right now. This is my first 'AT' fanfic, so please be nice to me.**_

Summary: When the cast of Adventure Time gets plotted in the first Shrek movie, you know it's going to be awesome! Rated Teen because I don't know what direction it is going. Pairings: Mainly FioLee and CakeMonochromicorn.

Disclaimer: I don't own Adventure Time, Shrek, the song 'All Star' by Smash Mouth, or the song 'But you got to have friends'.

**maRSHal lEe and cake (psst, the capitalized letters make the word, SHREK).**  
>Rated T for Teen<br>**Chapter 1- All Star.**

**-FioLee-**

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><p>"'<em>Once upon a time there was a lovely princess. But she had a spell upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss. She was locked away by a terrible fire-breathing dragon. Many brave Krunchy Kandy knights had attempted to free her from this horrible prison, but none prevailed. She waited in the dragon's keep in the highest room of the tallest tower, for her true love and true loves first kiss…'" <em>There was a brief pause before the narrator spoke again.

"Yeah, like that's ever going to happen. What a lame story!" a male voice said as the old ragged book flung across the dim lilted study. The book fell uncermonisly towards the numerous pile of literature on the cold concrete floor.

"_Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me. I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed. She was lookin' kind a dumb with her finger and her thumb in the shape of an L on her forehead…."_

He got up from the slouched position in the chair that he was in and lazily looked upon the stone walls. They were littered with portraits of his ancestors, memories of days gone by. After reminiscing for a bit, he marched out of the bleak study. He wanted to do something more his style.

"'_Well the years start coming, and they don't stop coming…'"_he bellowed out as he strung a few keys on his bass guitar. Playing on an instrument was his favorite pastime. He especially liked the rock genre.

"_Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running. Didn't make sense not to live for fun. Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb"_

Being the rocker that he is, the vampire known as Marshal Lee, is all keen on he appears, but to stand in front of a mirror that won't show your reflection is completely silly. Still, he looks at it. Running a dangerously thin hand through his tousled jet black hair, he sighed. Sometimes, being a vampire doesn't have it perks. After tugging his clothes, which consisted of a simple red plaid shirt and tight black jeans, he pointed and winked at the mirror.

"Looking good" he said to no one. As he walked away, the mirror cracked, leaving it broke in several places.

"_So much to do, so much to see. So what's wrong with taking The Backstreet? You'll never know if you don't go. You'll never shine if you don't glow"_

Marshal Lee truly never noticed how things were deteriorating at his mansion. One thing had caught his eye though. Perhaps his property was infested with termites because his 'keep out' signs he made 50 years ago, looked more like planks broken from a wooden ship. So he painstakingly found more wooden boards and set up an easel to paint the numerous signs. Just because Marshal Lee liked shades of red, he had other colors to paint with like black, purple and dark blue, which all get splattered all over because he doesn't care about the mess that it makes. With the signs done, he looks at them at a distance and smirks.

"_Hey now, you're an All-star get your game on, go play"_

Did you know that Marshal Lee really loved his bass guitar? No? He found himself back to the chilly room where the musical instrument was located and wildly twanged some more notes. _"'Hey now, you're a rock star get the show on, get paid.'"_

Sometimes doing fun stuff like rocking out with your bass guitar is really harsh on the appetite, which is why Marshal Lee found himself and the jet black marble table eating all kinds of foods, all shades of red of course. He managed to light his old fireplace with a bolt of electricity from his bass guitar. The light was dark enough to not make it bright but still was enough to see what he was eating. Shadows flickered from the movement of Marshal Lee pacing back towards his chair and sitting down. Just when he was about to chomp down on a strawberry, his ears picked a faint noise coming from the graveyard.

Marshal Lee moved from his seat to the window, known by the scuffing of his black converse shoes, and stood there, waiting for whatever is was out there to make their presence known. A second later, about four or five village's men came crashing into his gated steel wire gate. They were pretty heavily armed with torches, stakes, Holy Scriptures and rings of garlic.

Calculating their marching speed, Marshal Lee saw this as a perfectly good time to play a little prank to his 'guests'. He cackled before flying through the open window. "Heheheh, this is going to be awesome".

"_And all that glitters is gold. Only shooting stars break the mold"_

When flying, it didn't take long to get behind the raiding party so to speak. Just a few sharp turns here and there was all that took for Marshal Lee to follow the villagers.

The villagers had stopped right in front of the double doors of the mansion. "This is it men" one of them replied as he reached out towards the door. Another stopped the first one from turning the doorknob. "Wait! Do you know what he might do to you? He'll splash buckets of his previous victim's blood on you, slice you in two, and feed your chopped off head to all sorts of creatures". All of the men froze when hearing that chilling tale.

Taking this opportunity, Marshal Lee made his presence known. "No, dudes, THAT would be a Dullahan" The villagers, frightened by his voice, turned around as he got closer. "Vampires….they're much worse than that dude. They…"

One of the villagers got over their initial fear and bravely swayed a torch at Marshal. "Back, vampire! We aren't scared of you!"

Marshal seemed indifferent when the villager did that action. Seriously! You can't defeat a vampire with just a small flame like that. More importantly, he didn't get enough time to explain how vampires were much worse than headless horsemen. Talk about being a kill-joy. He silently appeared next to the villager who had threatened him with the torch and blew out. He then morphed into a hideous bat creature and hissed at them.

The villagers screamed all at once but none of them got the hint to run away. Were they that dumb? It wouldn't hurt to help out his guests. Marshal transformed back and floated in between two villagers. He got dangerously closer to them and said in a low voice, almost whispering. "This is the part where you…run…away". He then gave an evil grin.

After this, all of the villagers ran out of the graveyard, screaming out of pure fright. Marshal just laughed hysterically, holding his sides. "Ahahahahahaha! And stay out! Losers!"

He then spotted a flying on the ground next to him. One of the people must have dropped it during the chaos. Picking it up with one hand, he read the contents. "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures…" He sighed as he became uninterested. The flyer was thrown from his hand and was sent hurling towards the ground. It got caught in the wind instead, disappearing into the night.

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><p>-Next Morning-<p>

Various children's fairy tale creatures were being hauled away in wagons too small for their own good. The question is why was there a fluffy calico cat there? It wasn't all that special besides being able to walk upright. A leash was around its neck, but that didn't stop the cat when it amazingly spoke.

"Yo granny! Please don't turn me in, girlfriend. I'll never be catty again. I can change, for realz! Please! Give a sister another chance!" pleaded the cat, or in this case, Cake. The old woman that had her by the leash had snarled in response. She warningly tried to threaten Cake to shut her up.

They both walked, Cake was more like getting pulled, towards a make-shift table. A Krunchy Kandy knight was sitting on the opposite side of the wooden divider. Two more knights were positioned at his flank. "Next" he said in a bored tone.

"Well, I've got a talking cat" The old lady yanks Cake closer to the table. Looking at Cake, the knight couldn't believe it. This had to be a scam. His voice had the hint of not being amused as he spoke.

"Right… Well, that's good enough for 10 bronze chocolate coins…. If you can prove it". You could feel the doubt in his speech. The old lady complied and untied the leash that was put on Cake.

"Go ahead, little lady" she sweetly cooed to Cake. Cake's reaction was to stare at the knight to the old lady and back to the knight again. A long silence settled in the atmosphere as this staring contest kept going on for a while.

"Well?" the knight asked, quite done with the awkward silence. The old lady was starting to get nervous. "She's just…" there was a deep pause and breathe before she spoke again. " She's just a bit nervous. All cats are like that. She's really quite a chatty little kitty". She turned to Cake, angry at the lack of response from the cat.

"Talk, you lazy cat!" She then threatened Cake again. The knight wasn't buying it at all. "That's it. I've heard quite enough from you. Guards" the knights that were behind him had started to move towards the old lady. She grew desperate as they got closer to her.

"No, no, she talks!" She was in hysterics by now but the outburst managed to halt the knights' walking. "She does". In her resistance, she grabbed Cake's face and tried to ventriloquist. "'I can talk. I love to talk. I'm the talkingest darn cat you ever saw, girlfriend'".

The horrible act didn't sit well with the knight at the table, however. Truth to be said, he wasn't impressed at all. "Get her out of my sight". The others knights grabbed the old lady and started to drag her away. When doing so, she kicked a pixie stick fairy, which was trapped inside of a cage, into the air above.

The cage came back to the earth below and fell on top of Cake's head. Some of the dust coated Cake's fur as she started to glow. As Cake was lifted from the ground, she spoke out loud.

"Hey ya all! I can fly!" Murmurs behind her kept saying 'She can fly, She can fly' as Cake continued to float away from the table, now full of knights surrounding it. The knights now knew they had been had right from the start. "She can talk!" they were quite furious.

Cake smugly swam father away. "That's right fool! Now I'm a flying talking cool cat. You might have seen a housefly, a superfly, or maybe a donkey fly but I bet you ain't never seen a cat fly, girlfriend". As fast as it happened, the magic suddenly went away. All of the dust disappeared, causing Cake to fall down to the ground landing butt first on the dirt ground.

Grasping the opportunity, the knight sprang into action. "Seize her" The others knights tried to jump onto Cake but she was a bit too fast and nimble for them to catch her. Not to mention that she grew to an incredible size when they tried to pounce on her. They fell into a heap as Cake dashed into the woods.

Cake frantically zipped through the woods as she still could hear the knights' right behind her. She didn't watch what was in front of her as she bumped into someone. That someone was Marshal Lee.

But why was he in the forest anyway? Marshal Lee had left his mansion to put a 'keep out' sign farther away so the villagers would know to stay out. Apparently, he had to wear a black cloak so the sunlight would kill him while doing this task. He gazed, more like glared, down at the thing that bumped into him. It was a cat. Now, this was pretty strange.

The knights had managed to catch up with the two, causing Cake to look worriedly at Marshal. Marshal on the other hand had his gaze fixed on the numerous Krunchy Kandy knights. The knights abruptly halted when they spotted Marshal. Who wouldn't? He's a vampire.

One of them bravely spoke up. "You there, vampire!" he was quite hesitant.

"Yeah, wazz up?" Marshal spoke calmly as he leaned into a tree casually. He seriously wasn't afraid of these guys.

The one who spoke before had rolled down a parchment before addressing the blaming party. "By the order of Lord Freeze **(1)**, I am authorized to place you both under arrest…" he trailed away and looked at something in the forest. "… and transport you to a designated resettlement facility" he sharply quieted down meekly.

Marshal had gotten way from the tree and came closer to the knight that read the parchment. "Seriously dude? Yourself and WHAT army?" he grinned.

The knight turned around fast and found that there was no one behind him. Only spears and shields were left behind. All of the rest had run away. Finding himself alone, the knight screamed and fled.

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><p><strong>-FioLee-<strong>

Cake, which had hid into some foliage, crawled back out just in time to give the best sneer a cat could do at the retreating knight. She then turned back to Marshal who sighed and started to walk away. Cake decided to follow wherever he was going.

"Can I say something? Listen, you was really, really somethin' back there. Incredible! Super-duper awesome!" It didn't take Cake too long to catch up with the slow walking pace that Marshal going at. She swiftly circled around him.

"Dude, are you talking to me?" Marshal turned around to look but when he did so, Cake wasn't behind him anymore. Now that was strange. He turned back around again and started to head out again.

"Yes, I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you that ya was great back there?" Cake suddenly appeared right in front of him. Actually, she was too close to him for comfort. She kept talking was she walked backwards. "I mean, those Krunchy Kandy knights. They thought that they was tough cookies. Then you showed up and bam! They was trippin' over themselves like cats in a rocking chair factory. That was cool beans because it was fun to see them run scared silly".

"That's awesome dude. Really…" You could almost hear the sarcasm in Marshal's voice. He tried to quicken his pace but Cake kept catching up with him.

"Mmm-hmm, it's good to be free" Cake was now walking at Marshal's side. Marshal had others plans though and walked further ahead.

"Great. Now why don't you celebrate your freedom with your own kind, furball?" Still being sarcastic, he stopped for a second to look at Cake again but then continued his march afterwards.

Cake stopped in her tracks for a second and mulled over what Marshal had said. She said the most honest answer. "But I don't have any friends..." she stopped briefly before looking at the forest. "…and a sister ain't going out there by herself". She looked absolutely terrified at the prospect of leaving. Cake then had a great idea. "Hey, wait a tic! I got a great idea! I'll stick with you!" Cake caught up with Marshal, stepping over many rocks and shrubbery as she walked along side again. "You're pretty tough and scary. Together, we'll scare the piñata candy out of anybody that crosses us".

Marshal had about enough of this talking cat. He re-morphed into his hideous bat creature form and screamed at Cake. Cake flinched when Marshal did that, stopping her in her tracks. The wind from the scream had made her fur frazzled.

"Wow! That was really scary". Cake stood still, mumbling over something. Marshal saw this as a chance to get away, de-transforming in the process and started to walk from Cake again. Cake had other plans though, as she appeared right in front of Marshal again. This time she was hanging from a fallen tree, which was up above the ground by several feet. Marshal would eventually have to walk under this obstacle.

Just when Cake was about to talk again, Marshal clamped a pale hand over her mouth. This action didn't stop the cat from talking however. Marshal, with his rotten luck, could still hear the mumbling of Cake. He then removed his hand as Cake still kept on talking.

"Dude, why are you following me?" Marshal barked out as he tried to get away from the talkative cat. His patience was starting to get a bit thin. He was so confused in why this stupid furball was stalking him.

Cake jumped down and appeared in front of Marshal again. "I'll tell you why". Cake pulled out a dulcimer, playing a musical tune and started to follow Marshal. "-_'Cause I'm all alone. There's no one here besides me_-" Cake sang as she cutely swished her tail back and forth. "-_My problems have all gone. There's no one to deride mmeeeeeeee-eee-ee…_-"

The song wasn't that bad but with Cake's accent and dulcimer, it made the tune really annoying to Marshal. Cake proceeded to play, sing and now dance to her little song. "-_But you gotta have friends…_-" Cake's vocals got higher and more annoying when she sang this part.

Marshal had just about enough. "Dude! Stop singing! Seriously, man!" He grabbed Cake by the neck and placed her away about 2 yards from him. "Listen, dude. The reason why you don't have any pals, furball is because your singing is horrible!" Marshal was very direct with his statement as he didn't want to deal with this talking cat anymore.

Sadly, it had the opposite effect than what Marshal had hoped for. Cake was truly amazed at Marshal's directness. "Wow! It takes a true friend to be that truly honest" Frustrated, Marshal gave up and held his hands outwards.

"Listen strange orange cat. Take a good look at me. What am I, dude?" He pointed to himself so Cake could get the hint. Cake obliged to his request and look at him from bottom to top. Marshal meanwhile glared down at Cake.

"Really pale and skinny?" asked Cake dumbly. Once again, Marshal's patience grew thin. "No way dude!" he shouted angrily at Cake. "I'm a vampire! You, know, 'Grab your garlic and stakes'!" He had fake enthusiasm when he talked about the garlic and stakes part. His eyes down casted when he spoke again. "Doesn't that bother you?"

Cake managed to shake her head back and forth at his question. "Nope". Marshal was surprised at Cake's response.

"Really?" he asked hesitantly. Cake grinned, well as best as a cat could. "Really, Really"

"Oh!" Marshal was at a loss for words. Cake, meanwhile, kept on grinning. "I like you. What's your name?"

Marshal struggled for an answer but decided to not play any minds games with this cat. "Uh… Marshal Lee" he said indifferently as he once again walked away.

Cake mulled over learning Marshal's name. "Marshal Lee? Well, you know what I like about ya, Marshal Lee?" she followed after him. "You got that kind of punk-Chillax thing. I like that. A sister respects that, Marshal Lee. You all right" Both Cake and Marshal walked up to the graveyard and Marshal's mansion. Cake took a swift glance at the place. "Creepy, this place is like, creepy. Who'd want to live here?"

Marshal gave Cake a 'look' and replied angry, "Dude, THAT would be my home". He stomped away towards his mansion. Cake quickly realized her mistake and tried to sweet talk her way out of the current situation.

"And it is charming! Just breath-taking! You are quite a decorator" Cake then followed Marshal again. "It's amazing what you've done with such a chocolate penny pinching budget" Something caught her eye and she stopped briefly. "I like that gravestone. That is a nice gravestone" Cake smiled and tried to catch up with Marshal. She then came up to the various 'keep out' signs littered about. "I guess you don't have parties that much, do you?"

Marshal put his hands behind his head indifferently. "Sometimes, I just like to chill…. by MYSELF" He proceeded to walk towards the mansion's double doors. Cake continued to follow him.

"You know, I do, too. That's another thing we have in common. Like, a sister hates it when you got somebody in your face" Cake came closer. "You're trying to give them a hint, and they won't ever leave. And to top it all off, there's that big, awkward silence you know"

Marshal turned around to look at Cake and the atmosphere was thick with awkward silence. Cake saddens as she realizes that Marshal wanted her to leave. Marshal turned back around and headed for the doors again. Cake's sadness only lasted a minute though as she perked back up. "Can I stay with you?" she asked.

"What?" Marshal was taken aback by Cake's question and turned back around. He thought that the cat would just go away already. Cake had saddened again.

"Can I stay with you, please" Cake once again asked the same question. She tried to smile while asking Marshal.

Marshal replied back sarcastically. "Sure that would be awesome…"

Cake was surprised that it was going to be this easy. "Really?"

Marshal was not impressed. "No" his voice was firm as he turned back around. Cake was now officially scared.

"Please! I don't wanna go back there!" Her paws jumped onto Marshal's upper body when Marshal had turned around for the 3rd time. "You don't know that it's like to be considered a freak. Well…nmaybe you do" Cake paused slightly. "But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!" Cake started to beg. "Please! Please" she said desperately.

Marshal sighed and gave up. "Okay, okay. Chillax dude" He opened the doors of the mansion. "But for only one night, got it?"

"Thank you" Cake replied, overly-joyed. She then ran into the mansion, bumping into things, breaking them in the process. Marshal did a double take as Cake had run into the mansion pretty quickly.

"Hey! What are you…?" Marshal managed to see Cake make a dash for his favorite black beanbag chair. "No, no!" he screamed as Cake jumped into it, almost disappearing. Marshal mentally cringed as he saw his only cool chair in his mansion get covered in cat fur. This was going to be a pain in the butt to clean up after 'his' guest left permanently.

Cake stretched her head out of the squishy beanbag chair and chatter wildly. "This is gonna be so much fun! We can stay up late, gossip, and in the mornin', I'm makin'…PANCAKES!"

Marshal was furious! He wished he could strangle this annoying furball so bad! He wanted to shave that cat bald and tar and feather it. As Marshal was still seething, Cake looked around the mansion curiously.

"Uh, where do I sleep?" she asked.

"OUTSIDE, DUDE!" Marshal yelled as he pointed towards the exit. Cake saddened once again, pointing her ears downwards.

"Oh…well, I guess that's cool. I mean, I don't know you and you don't know me, so I guess outside is the best, actually" Her tail swished sadly in response and she jumped out of the beanbag chair. She then headed towards the exit. "Here I go" she quietly said as she hung her head down.

Marshal just gave Cake a look before slamming the doors as soon as Cake was outside. Cake sat in front of the double doors before saying, "Good night" She then sighed. "I mean, a sister does like the outdoors. Being outside is radical"

Marshal heard her from the outside via the open window and sighed. He turned his attention away when Cake started to sing sadly and now focused on eating at his table. He used his powers to float a candle over to him and he lit it with a spark of electricity. He glanced back at the door before eating his meal.

After a few minutes, Cake spied into the mansion to look at marshal before returning back to the double doors and sighed.

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><p><strong>-Chapter 1 'All Star' End-<strong>

Footnotes: **(1)** Ice King has been changed to Lord Freeze, in correspondence with the villain in Shrek name Lord Farquard. This is still the Ice King though.

_**Author's note (Ending): I felt like it was a good place to stop for now. Don't worry, Fionna will appear next chapter, I promise. Marshal is just a vampire in this story, not a king. Sorry about that. Yeah, I know Cake isn't afraid of Marshal but for this to work, she can't be afraid.**_  
><em><strong>So far we have-<strong>_  
><em><strong>Marshal Lee playing the 'role' of Shrek, Cake playing the 'role' of Donkey, Fionna playing the 'role' of Princess Fionna, and Ice King playing the 'role' of Lord Farquard. I hoped you guys liked this chapter. I spent a lot of time on this idea of mine. Please read and review, thank you.<strong>_

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><p>Next time (teaser): <strong>"Woah, dude! Dead chick that looks like me, OFF the table!"<strong>

**(Complete 10/6/11 8:07 PM)**


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